What do you need today?


Every Friday at 10:30am I have singing lessons. (Via Zoom, of course) 

My teacher, Emily, starts the session with the same question: “Stacey, what do you need from your voice lesson today?”

In the beginning I didn’t get it. “I just want to sing!” I’d tell her.

The more she asked, though, the more vulnerable and open I got with the answers.

I feel tired today, need energy.


My heads in the clouds, I need to get grounded.


I feel like I just want to scream at the top of my lungs! (2020 #amiright!)

These answers determine the direction of the lesson and more importantly the sound that comes out of my mouth. Low tones for grounding, higher “head voice” tones for energy and expression.

No matter how lessons start, by the end I get what I need (Emily rocks!). And boy does it feel good to receive.

Are You A Giver or Receiver?

And this makes me think of business. As helping professionals – whether you work for a business or own one – a natural tendency might be to give, give, give. It’s noble. Yet how often do you get asked, “What do you need today?”

If the answer is “not very often”, listen up! Even givers need to pause the giving and get. It’s OK to receive. I’ll say that again. It’s OK to receive. To think otherwise is a formality that might hold you back or worse cause you to burnout. And then you’re no good to anyone.

So, if you are a natural giver, (or know someone who is) take time to receive (it’s not selfish, you’re worth it!).

Before your next meeting, event or conversation ask yourself:

What do I need from this…
  • Networking event today?
  • Client, sales or staff meeting today?
  • Prospect conversation today?
  • Day off today?
  • (Insert event here) today?

Take Time to Do The Work

Receiving sound hard or selfish? I get it. You don’t have to give up giving. Take baby steps.

Look, a lot of us have been taught to give more than we get. And to an extent that’s great advice.

But if you’re never getting, check in with that. At some point you’ll have nothing left to give. And that leads to anger, resentment, exhaustion, irritation.

Believe me I know. Because I sing about it.

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About the blog

Humor, stories, and insights, delivered 2x per month, to perform without the pressure.

Topics include mental health, work, human connection, creativity and more.


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