It’s too hard. I’m not good at it. I quit. 

Have you ever said those words, or something similar, to yourself when learning something new?

It’s a cycle I go through with every new endeavor. And I’m going through it now the more I work on my stand up comedy.

Just last week, while writing jokes, I said to my husband, “I don’t think I’m funny. Maybe I’m not cut out to be a comedian.”

Call it imposter syndrome, call it lack of confidence, call it completely stupid. Doesn’t matter what you call it. The point is, learning to write and perform comedy is bringing up a familiar truth:

We cannot be successful alone.

When I learned how to ride a bike as a young girl, I started with training wheels. Then the wheels came off and my dad lightly held the back of my bike. One day he let go of the bike and off I went!

When I started my new job last July, I met with my boss near daily to learn the people, processes and programs. Now, almost a year later, there are many days when we don’t talk at all.

Which brings me to comedy. I recently found a comedy buddy and joined an online comedy writers group. Both meet weekly to give and get feedback on jokes and talk about performance. As a result of these support systems, my perspective on my comedy writing ability has changed for the better. I have what it takes to be funny.

Photo Credit/Caption: Delusional Comedy Productions; Open Mic, Kingston, MA

The Importance of Getting Support

I don’t know about you, but I’ve quit lots of projects over the years that might have flourished had I reached out for help. While I have no regrets, I’m reminded that we cannot be successful alone when:

• Parenting
• Moving into leadership
• Starting a new job
• Launching a new business
• Producing a podcast
• Writing a book
• Performing a comedy routine
• Planting a garden
• Public speaking

We live in an increasingly disconnected world. Folks don’t want to bother others or be bothered (don’t get me started!). That’s not how we flourish. It’s quite the opposite. Recently the surgeon general reported that the health impact of loneliness is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Humans are wired for connection. It’s good for our goals, our well-being, our creativity. Plus, people want to help.

When we let go of the expectation that we have to figure things out by ourselves, we feel lighter and more confident reaching out. We get the support we need to accomplish our dreams and goals.

Eventually, we say to ourselves, It’s easier, I’m good at it, keep going.

Your Turn to Talk to Me

What are you working on or learning right now?

What support do you need to make it happen?