Meditation Isn’t Easy But the Practice is Worth it

A blog post came through my Twitter feed that caught my attention: Meditation Has Annoyed Me.

woman meditating

I hear it a lot. People tell me they tried and they can’t stop thinking. They get frustrated and quit.

I remember the first time I meditated. I was a student in a 200-hour yoga teacher training program. Our instructor walked in and said, “We’ll start with a 30 minute seated meditation today.”

Although I didn’t say anything verbally, my body language spoke volumes. My mouth dropped open and I furrowed my brow as if to say, “You want me to do what?”

I sat. I fidgeted. My legs started tingling. My back hurt. I couldn’t settle my thoughts. I felt angry and aggravated.

When we finished I silently promised myself I would NEVER meditate again. (Nice attitude from a soon-to-be yoga teacher!)

I don’t remember when I started again or why. I do remember that I started slowly – 5 minutes at a time. I could handle five minutes. On my own I increased the amount of time I sat by 2 – 3 minute increments until I made it to 20 minutes. –  Today I can sit anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes “comfortably”.

Here is the thing about meditation: It’s a practice. You sit, free of distractions and focus your attention on a word, mantra, breath.

Your thoughts won’t stop. The practice is noticing your thoughts, detaching from them and bringing your attention back to that point of focus (word, mantra, breath).

Feeling frustrated? It’s part of the process. What else are you impatient or frustrated with in your life?

A few tidbits I’ve learned from meditation (certainly not a comprehensive list):

  • Silence is uncomfortable because it forces you to be with yourself. You start to feel things you haven’t felt in a while or ever. Let them come up if you want to heal and feel better.
  • Meditation keeps me focused. Meditation settles my thoughts (doesn’t stop them) when I feel overwhelmed or irritated and keeps me on track.
  • Sitting does get “easier”. Now I know if I fidget something is not right in my life. I need to let it come up and out.
  • Meditation keeps me in control. If I feel like I’m about to over react, I breathe. If I find myself reaching for food that I’m not hungry for I sit quietly for a few minutes. The “hunger” goes away because the “hunger” had nothing to do with food.
  • Compassion. Meditation has truly helped me open my heart and my mind to others.

The practice is not about stopping your thoughts but instead how quickly you notice your thoughts and stories, detach from them and bring your attention back to your breath/word/mantra. Also, how do you feel when you’re done?

Resource: Susan Piver meditation teacher and author recently wrote a posted called Am I Doing it Right? She offers a few thoughts to help keep you on track with your meditation practice.

Do you meditate? How has it helped you? Are you afraid of it? I’d love to know what you think.

3 Ways to Use Resistance as an Opportunity

Are you ever met with resistance in your personal or professional life? Maybe a client that wasn’t quite ready to engage your services or an audience member who sat with crossed arms snickering through your presentation? Maybe you meet with resistance from friends and family. Did you know that resistance offers a great opportunity to create a connection?

I recently attended a seminar about using resistance as an opportunity instead of a roadblock. Although the seminar was designed for organizational consultants, I thought these tips could be useful for health, wellness and solo professionals dealing with client resistance (or anyone who deals with people on a regular basis).

Sonia Nevis of the Gestault International Study Center on Cape Cod led the seminar. Below are the key takeaways on how to use resistance as an opportunity.

Resistance as an opportunity for connection

When met with resistance, think about making a connection instead of solving a problem. Get curious, ask questions, validate concerns, allow the individual to come up with his/her own answer.

Example: Imagine you are a health/wellness professional dealing with client resistance about time or money. Instead of giving up get curious and make a connection by validating concerns. Next, get curious and ask questions like “What activities do you currently engage in?” “What health-related goals are you looking to achieve?” “Would you prefer to achieve those on your own or with support?” Avoid selling or fixing and think only about making the connection.

Connection is more important than context

Many people want to be hired or seen as an expert, promoting credentials and success. Instead, be seen as a trusted advisor – no matter the issue. Remember, people do business with those they know like and trust.

Example: I recently met with the VP of HR at a local bank about the possibility of working together on her company’s wellness program. She wants to offer cooking classes, looked at me and said “You could teach them!” I don’t teach cooking classes, stress management is my thing, but because we made a connection she assumed and trusted I could do it.

Before you try to teach someone, make sure there is trust

Have you ever tried to teach someone an idea, strategy or process before there they trust you? I have and it leads to even more resistance.

Example: I recently attended a health and wellness expo. As I approached one table after another vendors all approached me the same way. “Welcome, we offer yoga, reiki, fitness…” not one person stopped and asked a question about me. They sold me before they connected with me and not one of them followed up with after the event.  A missed opportunity.

How do you handle resistance? Have you ever considered it an opportunity? Will you in the future?

6 Tendencies to Overcome for a Successful Health/Wellness Initiative (At home, school or work)

Are you having a hard time sticking to a wellness routine?

Or maybe you’re an organization having a hard time getting employees to participate in your company’s wellness initiative.

If so you’ll be interested in knowing about behavioral economics and how that impacts your wellness program.

I recently attended a program sponsored by the Worksite Wellness Council of Massachusetts called How to Inspire Your Employees to Make Sustainable Behavior Changes (that last beyond January!). Erika Illiano, Aon Hewitt’s Boston Communication Practice Leader presented the information.

In the short time we had together Erika shared 6 behavioral economic factors to overcome if you want to experience a successful workplace wellness initiative. These behaviors are valid in areas other than wellness and other than the workplace. I share them with you below.

6 Behavioral Factors to Overcome for a Successful Workplace Wellness Program

  • Inertia and the Bias towards Status Quo. When people are comfortable where they are, getting them to take action is a challenge. Make the programs as easy as possible for engagement and participation.
  • Temporal discounting: Tyranny of Present vs Promise of Future. Promising weight loss results of 20 pounds in 6 months isn’t going to cut it. Think short term gain – what incentive are you offering today?
  • Loss Aversion: Losing hurts worse than winning feels good. Instead of promising the benefits of better health, speak to what you have to lose – money, time, not being around for your kids, and even your life. Losing hurts worse.
  • Social Norms: What’s everyone else doing? Erika said, “Smoking is addictive, quitting contagious.” Creating a culture where participating in health and wellness initiatives is the norm will work to your advantage. Get senior leaders involved (a must for successful wellness initiatives). You create social norms when EVERYONE at ANY LEVEL is participating.
  • Choices: Liberation or Paralysis. People make better choices with few choices. Consider creating a theme for the year instead of trying to be all things to all people. What health concerns are driving your costs up? Stress, diabetes, heart disease? Focus your attention on that.
  • Availability. Get creative with wellness program availability. For example, instead of email send a text message  about wellness events or healthy living tips.

Your turn: What do you think? What tendencies do you or your organization have to overcome to create successful wellness programs?

Need assistance creating, implementing or managing your health/wellness programs? I work with organizations who want to keep stress and costs down while increasing the heatlh and success of employees and the organization. Click here to learn more about my consulting services for education, health care and business organizations.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving (in the US) and a healthy and happy holiday season.

Today and every day I’m thankful for my family, my health, my colleagues, my ability to help people feel better through my work, the roof over my head, the clothes on my back and the food on my table. I’m also thankful for your continued support.

What are you thankful for today and how can you make that appreciation last beyond the holiday?

For more on my thoughts about being thankful, check out my post on Healthy South Shore – complete with a challenge.

Enjoy your holiday weekend!

 

 

5 Reasons to Join Toastmasters

Stacey SpeakingWant to improve your skills and confidence as a speaker or leader?

I highly recommend Toastmasters. I share my top 5 reasons why in a post published on the Hingham Patch blog – 5 Reasons to Join Toastmasters.

Whether you’re a professional speaker, looking to become one or simply want to feel more confident and comfortable communicating with others, Toastmasters can help you in more ways than you realize. I know it helped me.

You can read the full post here: 5 Reasons to Join Toastmasters

And if you live on the South Shore of Massachusetts, I invite you to visit my home club Hanover Toastmasters on the 1st and 3rd Monday of each month. Visit the website for time and location details.

To find a club near you visit Toastmasters International.

Are you or have you been a member? How did you benefit?