I spoke to a very close friend recently who has been going through a lot emotionally.  She’s also been sick more often than she’d like.  When I asked her whether she thought the illnesses could be stress related, she said, “I don’t think I’m stressed about these things.”

I hear that response often when I present and speak about managing stress.  In fact, if you had asked me 4 or 5 years ago if I felt stressed I would have said no.  I didn’t know my anger, frustration, irritability, compulsive exercise and constant desire to be anywhere but where I was in a given moment were all stress responses.  I lived in a constant state of (negative) stress.

Eventually I came to my senses and realized “there has to be a better way”.  And there is.  But before I could do anything about it, I needed to be aware of my current responses and behaviors.  By (physiological) definition stress is:

a specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism.

physical, mental, or emotional strain or tension

Below is a list of common (negative) responses.  Do you recognize any of these in yourself (or someone you care about?)

Cognitive Symptoms
Memory problems (forgetfulness)
Inability to concentrate (lack of focus)
Poor judgment
Seeing only the negative
Anxious or racing thoughts
Constant worrying
Inability to make decisions

Emotional Symptoms
Moodiness
Irritability, short temper, angry
Agitation, inability to relax
Feeling overwhelmed
Sense of loneliness and isolation
Depression or general unhappiness
Withdrawal

Physical Symptoms
Aches and pains due to muscle tension
Diarrhea or constipation
Nausea, dizziness
Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
Loss of sex drive
Frequent colds
Teeth grinding
High blood pressure

Behavioral Symptoms
Eating more or less
Sleep too much or too little
Isolating yourself from others
Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
Using alcohol, cigarettes or drugs to relax
Nervous habits (ie, nail biting, pacing)
Accident prone
Cry easily
Increased spending/shopping
Obsessive behavior (cleaning, lots of exercise)

Awareness is the first step. Do you know how you respond to stress?  Do you recognize any of the above in you or someone you know?  If yes, it may be time to create what I call your “Stress Relief Toolbox” – practical tools to help you cope with challenging situations.  Stress management is not about never reacting in a negative way, it’s about having the tools necessary to help you bounce back.  I still get angry and irritated.  My awareness allows me to catch that and ask, “What can I do to ensure a favorable outcome?”  And, I’m human, I don’t always achieve the favorable outcome, but I always learn from the experience.

We all have stress.  What matters though isn’t the situation itself, but instead how you respond.  Maybe we should call it “response management” instead of stress management.

Upcoming Event:  A Stress Relief Workshop For Women, Kingston, MA

Did you recognize any of the above symptoms in yourself or someone you know?  Do you live in or around the South Shore Massachusetts area?  If yes, then please join me as I present a Stress Relief workshop for Women on Wednesday June 30, 6:30pm to 8pm at Hope Floats Wellness in Kingston, MA.  We’ll have discussion and practice of tools you can use immediately and start buildling your own stress relief toolbox.  Learn more here or email me with any questions.  This will be a fun, interactive event!  And if you’re reading this thinking “That would be nice, but who has time.” That’s when you need it the most.  Taking care of yourself will allow you to continue taking care of others.

How did you take care of your body today?

Did you nourish it with healthy food?
Did you get enough sleep?
Did you exercise or get some physical activity that raised your heart rate a bit?
Did you stretch and release tension?
Did you notice your posture and sit or stand up right instead of slouched over?

If you answered no, what’s stopping you?

Work?
Your busy family schedule?
Your community obligations?
The cooking and cleaning?
Your commute to and from work?

Have you ever wondered how you fit into all of these excuses?  Not your fault?  I learned, not that long ago, that when I place blame I give away my power.  I’m stuck, waiting for someone else to take action.  Not helpful if you have dreams or goals you’re trying to achieve.  Not helpful if you’re looking for a new way to take care of your health.

A big part of feel-good living is taking personal responsibility for your choices and how you treat your body.  Your body is truly a temple.  Without it you can’t get to work, care for your children, or have fun and enjoy life.   Yes, taking care of your body requires thought, preparation and action.  Long-term consistent action.  But aren’t you worth it?

This week I’m doing something different for my body. My husband and I are participating in a spring cleanse with Kat Ogar of Infinitie Health and Wellness, the health coach I recently interviewed on Feel Good Living TV.  The thought of eating raw fruits and vegetables, and water (or tea) ONLY for the first two days scares the heck out of me!

Leaving me to wonder, “What the heck am I so afraid of?”

I suspect that over the next 7 days of spring cleanse I will learn a lot about myself.  A food cleanse is so much more than a food cleanse.  You learn a lot about yourself when someone “takes away” the food you are used to eating. I already have.  A true lesson in attachment and letting go.

Given that April is often a sign of fresh starts and new beginnings, this seems the perfect time to cleanse my body and “reawaken” to the strength and power my body (and mind) holds.  This week during the cleanse, we are getting rid of the “old” and making room for the new, in our bodies and in our lives. I need my body and mind to stay healthy in order to accomplish what I want to accomplish.

Taking care of your body is:
good for you
good for your family
good for the community

Taking care of your body is feel good living. Take responsibility for your body, no one else will, and do something good for it, starting today.

How did (or will) you take care of your body today?

I just finished reading a series of blog posts by Barbara Stanny, a leading authority on women and money, about how to surrender.  And these short posts got me thinking about where I am right now – alone for a few days.

My husband and I spent the weekend on Cape Cod celebrating our anniversary and Easter. Yesterday morning he went back back to work and home.  I’m staying for a few more days, alone, to work on some business related projects including writing a new business/marketing plan and working on the Feel Good Living Book.

As I read Barbara Stanny’s posts and reflected on what’s ahead for me over the next few days, I begin to notice how I felt about my time alone – mixed.  I’m looking forward to “getting work done” and yet it would be nice to have someone to talk to and have dinner with in the evening!

When I mentioned this work alone retreat to a friend she responded with, “Alone?  Interesting!”  I found it interesting that she responded with “interesting!”

Her response, my mixed feelings and Barbara Stanny’s blog posts led me to get curious and wonder what other people think.

Do you enjoy spending time alone?

Does that question stir something within you?  Do you get a funny feeling in your belly?  Did you make a face?  Did you think, “Why would I want to be alone?” or do you wish, “Yes, please! When?”

How often do you take time to just be with yourself and relax?  No TV, no reading, no cleaning, no busying yourself at all?  Or maybe the thought is simply ridiculous.  Being alone means “stuff comes up” and that can be uncomfortable.  Distractions allow us to avoid the discomfort.  And these days distractions are found around every corner, if we choose to engage.

Took me a long time to enjoy being alone and to stop myself from constantly being distracted.  And now I treasure this alone time – whether quick or extended.  It is truly a gift, allowing me the space and quiet I need to focus and listen.  Alone time allows me to connect in to my purpose and passion by silencing the external voices telling me what I “should” do.  Alone is, admittedly “scary” at first, and what I’ve learned is by learning to appreciate it and bring it into my life, I grow stronger and more confident. I can surrender, knowing I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. 

What about you?  Whether you spend 4 days or 4 minutes, do you enjoy or shy away from spending time alone?

If you enjoy it, how have you benefited?

How often do you open yourself up to opportunities, with every fiber of your being, knowing there is a possibility of hurt?  Do you spend more time protecting yourself from or opening up to your dreams, goals, or “ideal lifestyle”?

According to dictionary.com one definition of vulnerable is:  open to moral attack, criticism, temptation

Who wants that?

I remember the first time I consciously allowed myself to be vulnerable. I was nominated for a leadership position in a networking group, and lost the election. I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt a little but the truth is I learned more than I imagined including:

• Even if I “lose” I’m ok.  And really, what did I lose?  My life didn’t change
• Timing is everything.  A year later I was nominated again, and this time elected.
• I am stronger when I allow myself these opportunities.  Now I know what it’s like to “fail” and I no longer have to be afraid of it.

As I taught a yoga class yesterday morning, I focused on heart opening poses or backbends. Backbends are energizing and perfect for a morning practice.  Here in the northeast we are experiencing more driving rains, and I thought backbends might be just what we all needed.

The students in my class are relatively new to yoga, so I haven’t brought too much of the non-physical in to practice until today.  During savasana, or the final relaxation, I guided them into stillness and words just flowed out of my mouth.

Allow yourself these next few minutes to be in complete stillness.  To let your body soften and your thoughts rest.  Continue to breathe deeply into your heart and feel it expand.  Connect in to your heart.  To who you are.  Allow yourself to feel that vulnerability.

Have you ever considered how much you are missing if you fail to be vulnerable?   For years, I lived in a constant state of self-protection.  I used exercise to create a “hard” surface that no one could penetrate through, keeping me safe. Or so I thought.  Deep down I hurt more and more because I failed to let people or opportunity in.  I didn’t want to be vulnerable and get hurt again.  My body was healthy, my mind and soul (which I define as the place where your passion and purpose can be found) not so much.  In order to open up I needed to relax more, let go of outcomes and expectations, build my confidence and self trust and connect to supportive people and environments.

These days when I feel “stuck” or scared, I think back to that lost election and remember that win or lose great things happen when I open up and become a little vulnerable. Doors open and possibilities present themselves.  You build strength and get to know yourself better.  Don’t get me wrong, protection is good, risk assessor is my middle name.  There is power in knowing when the reigns are pulled too tight and when it might be time to loosen up.

What about you? Do you open yourself up to be vulnerable or do you spend more time in protection mode?

Note:  Question of the Week is a new weekly series designed to help create more awareness and conversation about various aspects of your health and well-being.  I hope you join in the conversation.

I was recently interviewed on Money Matters Radio by host Chuck Nilosek.  (You can listen to the full 30 minute interview here.)  We started our conversation talking about managing workplace stress, then we talked about yoga then wellness in general. We even talked a little bit about the movie Food Inc and while we didn’t go deep into a discussion the idea was mentioned: is food marketing misleading?

I haven’t been able to get that thought out of my head ever since.

And that leads me to this weeks question:

Is food marketing misleading to the consumer?

I was reminded of a study that was published in the January 2010 Journal of the American Dietetic Association about the number of calories in some of the food you eat and how in many instances caloric consumption may be up to 20% more than what is reported.

The press release stated:

Measured energy values of 29 quick-serve and sit-down restaurant foods averaged 18% more calories than the stated values. Likewise, measured energy values of 10 frozen meals purchased from supermarkets averaged 8% more calories than stated on the label.

Then I read a post from Evita Ochel a holistic health counselor and biologist at Evolving Wellness about foods that seem healthy but are not and again I became curious about whether food marketing is misleading. 

Admittedly I am a label reader. I do not take the claims on the front of a food package at face value, regardless of what they tell me – High fiber, low in calories, good source of vitamins/minerals – and I have a few rules I never stray from when food shopping including:  food stays on the shelf if it contains high fructose corn syrup or ingredients I can’t pronounce.

Knowing what is in your food helps you look and feel your best – and that is a critical part of feel-good living.

What about you?  Do you read food labels?  What are your thoughts on how food is marketed to the consumer?

Please join the conversation and share your thoughts, comments and knowledge below.

When I looked at my website stats last week, I took special note of the search terms used to help people find my site.  One in particular caught my attention.

Is there a place for stress in the workplace?

With so much talk about workplace stress, it seems we’re always trying to get rid of workplace stress.  I know when I present my stress management workshops I do discuss the “positive” side of stress, because in truth there is an upside!  There is no such thing as “stress free”, however, there are methods you can practice to help use stress in a more useful way.  Or as I like to say “turn stress into success”.

So, as you think about your work environment, whether you are a sole proprietor, freelancer or work for a larger entity, what do you think?

Is there a place for stress in the workplace?  And what might that look like?

Please share your thoughts below.

Creating a buzz…

Looking for a way to bring more work happiness and less stress into your work day?  Karl of WorkHappyNow.com is offering an affordable teleclass to help you do just that.  Learn more about his upcoming teleclass “How to Kick Butt at Work and Be Happy, Too”.

One of my goals for 2010 is to post more regularly.  To help those efforts I’m trying something new and creating a new series that will post on Mondays:  Question of the Week.

This first question is inspired by new tagline: Experience feel-good living.  I realize I am very clear on what feel-good living means to me.  I’ve lived it, created a framework for it, and now I am excited to share it. But before I do…

My natural curiosity got the best of me and I thought, I wonder how others experience feel-good living and what it might mean to them, if anything.

With that, I present this week’s question in two parts:

How do you experience “feel-good living”? and What does “feel-good living” mean to you?

Care to share your thoughts in the comments section?

My hope is that together, we can all experience feel-good living, starting today.

Note: A slightly different version of this article originally appeared in my January 2008 newsletter and has been edited appropriately.

It’s 2010 and my gut tells me that this year is going to be full of incredible opportunities for me personally and professionally (Wait, I say that every year…).  As I think about why I might feel this way, I have to believe it’s because I’m prepared for and open to the possibilities.

As the clock struck midnight on a new year, did you make goals and resolutions? How likely are you to achieve them?  As you consider the goals and resolutions you made for 2010, ask yourself the following questions:

• Am I open to possibilities?
• Am I open to the ups and downs that may accompany these goals?
• Am I ready to take a risk and be vulnerable?

If you answered no to any of these, you may be stuck in fear of the unknown, choosing the safety of “what is” instead of the possibilities (I get it, I’ve been there).  If you answered yes, congratulations. You most likely see the excitement that comes with being open to new possibilities.

Opening to possibilities is not an easy thing to do.  You have to be ok with vulnerability, putting yourself out there, and taking new risks.  You open yourself up to success, mistakes, and (Gasp!) criticism.  Judgment and “holding on” have no place in the land of possibility, only compassion, forgiveness and letting go.

Every time I enter into new territory, no matter what it is, I think, “I’ve never done this before how can I possibly succeed?”  Then I reflect back to past situations – like quitting my job, running in an election and losing, auditioning for a TV show – and realize that no matter what happens, I’ll be ok.  In fact, I’m better than ok.  I learn a lot from each experience, and every time I think back, I get the strength I need to follow through in other situations.

As you think about the resolutions or goals you made for the New Year, consider being open to possibilities. Allow yourself the chance to experience whatever comes your way – positive and not so positive.  You will learn a lot and potentially have some great stories to tell. That’s part of the excitement!  And as long as you stay open to the possibilities, aware that all roads will have ups and downs, where you start will certainly not be where you end.

I’m looking forward to possibilities in 2010 that include (in no particular order):
Launching an online yoga video library
Launching Back to Your Senses TV online
Increased speaking and spokesperson opportunities
Growing the community around this blog (structure being added in 2010!)
Sharing the movement that is “Feel-Good Living”

And everything that comes with the above.

What possibilities are you open to in 2010?  And how will you get there?