Last week a young mom who attended my stress relief and relaxation workshop asked, “How can I be more present with my kids?”

A question I hear more and more.

One of the other women, a little older than the first, responded immediately with, “The only thing that matters is spending time with your children.  Do it now while you can.”  She had lost her son just last year.

I’ve always believed that good health and a loving family are the most important things in life.  When we are in good health – not just physically, but emotionally and even spiritually – we can work, play, live, love, and experience our environment fully.  When we are loved and have people to love we are connected to a world much larger than ourselves.

Being more present is something many are seeking yet a variety of factors make this harder and harder (ie, Back to School shopping begins mid-July!).  If you are looking to become more present with your family, at work, or anytime, below are three ways to get you started.

Meditate. Sitting quietly with a single focus – whether a word, phrase, or your breath – is the most effective (not to mention time and cost effective!) way to practice presence.  Meditation creates calm, focus and awareness, all necessary for increased presence.

Try this: Sit quietly, without distraction, and focus on your breath.  As you notice your thoughts appear observe and silently say, “thinking”, then, without judgment, bring your attention back to your breath.  That is the training for awareness and presence.

Be Grateful. Sometimes I’m moving so quickly I forget about the wonderful things I have already – a loving family, my health, and a comfortable home.  Taking a moment to pause and appreciate the positive parts of your life is a wonderful way to stay grounded in the present moment.  When you can find pleasure in what you have, you may realize it’s enough. 

Try this: Grab a piece of paper and pen and write down all the things you feel grateful for right now.  How do you feel?

Avoid Multi-Tasking. There is a belief that multi-tasking = more productive. Based on recent research, multi-tasking is less productive and often leads to an increase in mistakes, forgetfulness and frustration, not to mention a lot of unfinished projects.  Oh, and it can be dangerous (think texting while driving).  Concentrate on and complete one task at a time to enjoy a feeling of satisfaction and success.  When you’re with your family, turn off cell phones and put away computers.  Focus on the people instead.

Try this: When you notice yourself doing more than one thing at a time (for example talking on the phone while you cook dinner or texting while driving)  take a page from the meditation above.  First, notice that you’re mutli-tasking, and similar to your meditation, silently say “multi-tasking” then put the phone down and bring yourself back to cooking or driving as your single focus. Notice not only the outcome, but how you feel as a result.

We often take for granted the people in our lives, believing that they’ll be around forever.  But nothing in life is forever.  You only have NOW.  TODAY.

The dust bunnies under the bed can wait if your child, spouse, partner, grandmother, parent, best friend, is seeking a little bit of your time.

Give it to them.

Because spending time with the people you care about the most is feel good living.

I’ve read that people with pets have lower stress levels. Maybe it’s because pets (in my case, my cats, affectionately known as “the boys”) seem to know a thing or two about living a good life.

I thought I’d share a thing or two about how my boys experience Feel Good Living.  

Make time for silence. A little quiet time is good for the mind, body and soul.  It relieves stress, improves focus, productivity, creativity and is all around good for your health. (In this photo: One morning during my meditation my boys decided to join me. I broke my focus and snapped this photo of them on my lap. Then we sat in silence for the remaining time.)

Ask for What You Want. Every morning my boy Bobby asks for breakfast, and he’s not shy about it. Take a listen (opens in iTunes).  Bobby asking for breakfast. Clear, confident communication works. (Bobby always gets his breakfast!)

Take a Nap. A quick 15 minute cat nap is sometimes just what I need to get my energy and creative juices flowing.  I even know folks who find a spot to nap at work! (In these photos: if they’re tired, my boys will pretty much nap anywhere…though I wish they would stop choosing the kitchen table.  Bobby is on the left, Habibi on the right)

Find time for play! Play nice, and play often (my cats play often, not always nice)…do you find time for play in your day?

Snuggle with Someone You Love. Or at least spending time live and in person with someone you care about is a great way to feel connected.

Leave Your Mark on the World. Live with purpose and passion and people will remember how you made them feel (hopefully good! My Habibi likes to leave his mark all around the house)

Challenge the status quo. Tired of the same old, same old? Maybe it’s time to switch it up! Challenge the rules and beliefs you live by and see what happens.  (Rules in my house: No cats on the counters. Then I found Bobby relaxing by the kitchen sink. He hasn’t done it again. Sometimes challenging the rules doesn’t work for the long term, but it’s worth a shot, right?)

What about you? Do you have pets? What lessons have you learned from them?

If you’re not familiar with the website 1000AwesomeThings.com, check it out.  It’s fun, light and can definitely lift your mood.  Due to the overwhelming popularity of the website, founder Neil Pasricha recently published a book based on the site called The Book of Awesome.  I received a copy and read it immediately.  What a quick, fun read that put a smile on my face!

Neil was kind enough to answer a few questions about how the site started and a bit about the book.

How did you come up with the idea for 1000 Awesome Things?

Well, honestly Stacey, the news was getting so heavy out there.

Pull open a newspaper and it always seems like ice caps are melting, unemployment rates are shooting sky-high, natural disasters are claiming lives, and there’s a lot of war and unrest around the world.

The Book of Awesome is an escape from all that news. It’s a place where terrorist threats and global warming are replaced with the joy of finding money in your coat pocket, waking up and realizing it’s Saturday, and snow days.

How do you come up with the Awesome Things?

Well, frankly, they’re not really ideas at all! If anything, I’m a bit like a court stenographer. Because I mean, you don’t need me or anybody else to tell you that popping bubble wrap, stabbing a fresh jar of peanut butter, or fixing electronics by smacking them is awesome. They just are!

Really, the only difference between me and anybody else is that I’m writing them down every day. But I honestly believe these are things we’re all thinking… these are things we’re all saying YES! to in our heads every day.

What are the criteria for something to qualify as an Awesome Thing?

Awesome things are simple, tiny, free and easy daily experiences we all love. They’re sometimes touching, sometimes funny, but they should ring true and be pretty universal. I mean, who doesn’t love it when you get called up to the dinner buffet first at a wedding? Who doesn’t love it when the cashier opens up a new lane at the grocery store?

Do you think there’s a deeper meaning to these Awesome Things?

Well, I’ve honestly been so touched by the letters and emails I’ve received. I’ve shared on my site my personal struggles… getting left behind in a breakup and having my best friend take his own life. But people have reached back and told me stories about their own struggles with depression, troubled family situations, or terminal diseases.

Just like me, many have said that awesome things help them remember the little moments and live for the day. Honestly, sometimes I feel like there’s a bit of an Awesome Movement bubbling below the surface just waiting to strike out. Maybe we’re all itching to share a big high five with humanity and celebrate the little things.

Neil, what are some of your favorite awesome things?

Ooo, that’s tough. They change all the time but right now these five:

1. Waking up before your alarm clock and realizing you’ve got lots of sleep time left
2. The first shower you take after not showering for a really long time
3. The smell of gasoline
4. Old, dangerous playground equipment
5. The last day of school

From Stacey: My favorite things included laughing so hard you don’t make a sound and peeling off your wet bathing suit and putting on warm clothes after swimming for a long time. They both take me back to the days of hanging by the pool at my grandparents house, playing with my cousins.

Thanks, Neil for sharing a bit more about the book and the blog.  This book is definitely a part of feel-good living and if you find you need a lift, visit the 1000 Awesome Things site!

More about Neil

In Spring, 2008, office worker Neil Pasricha created the blog 1000 Awesome Things, a daily chronicle of all things good. After very humble beginnings the blog started getting hundreds and then thousands and then tens of thousands of hits daily and was named one of PC Magazine’s Top 100 Sites and won two Webby Awards for Best Blog. 1000 Awesome Things sheds light on day-to-day things in life, celebrating everything from #981 Wearing underwear from just out of the dryer to #858 The other side of the pillow to #773 Watching your odometer click over a major milestone. In a few weeks Pasricha will take 1000 Awesome Things to the next step when he turns the award-winning blog into THE BOOK OF AWESOME, a 400-page hardcover published by AEB/Putnam, a division of Penguin Publishing.

To learn more about the book and what Neil identifies as “awesome” visit his site 1000AwesomeThings.com.

Last weekend I shared two stories of silent practices from other people.  Today I want to share a personal perspective on the benefits of silent or meditative practices.

I left the house yesterday around 7am for an early meeting. I arrived back home by 9:15am. And that’s when my thoughts started running wild.

Start project A…No, I promised So & So I’d work on Project B…But I need to make that phone call…oh, I think I’m hungry…No, I’m not hungry, I’m stressed…No, I’m hungry…

I began mindlessly slicing cheese and piling it on a cracker.  (Confession:  When stressed my foods of choice include some cheese/carb combo or chocolate/peanut butter combo)

Food didn’t help and only served to create more stress.  Now I felt guilty for eating when I wasn’t hungry.  Back to my thoughts…

Meditate, Stacey.  You need silence…No, I need to run, that triathlon is coming up…I don’t feel like running…yoga…Ok, I know, I’ll bike for 30 minutes, yoga and then meditate…Ok, bike 20, yoga 20, meditate 20.

Can you relate to this constant back and forth of thoughts?  I call it the tennis match in my head.  With a “monkey mind” like that, I probably should have dropped everything and sat silently for the whole hour.  I was exhausted.  I ended up biking for 20 minutes,  gently stretching for 20 minutes and meditating for 20 minutes.  I chose to focus on the word “focus” for this sitting practice.

I knew what I needed, I knew it would help and I still resisted. I’ve made a career out of teaching these practices! Why was I resisting what I KNEW would benefit me?  Fear of not getting my work done?  Fear of appearing “weak”?  In the end, I sat, and the time in silence worked.  Within minutes I felt lighter and a smile crept onto my face.  I had more clarity about the projects I’m working on and how best to prioritize them.  Some of the challenges that I faced suddenly had clear solutions.  I couldn’t wait to get up and begin working again.  I sat for the full 20 minutes, feeling more calm, focused and refreshed than when I started.

I haven’t always been able to beat the resistance.

When first introduced to the practice I resisted it.  “I don’t have time for this!”  I would convince myself.  A lot of time passed before it became a regular habit.  (I’ll share the story of how I got here in a separate post.)

Meditation has become a powerful tool in my toolbox for those moments when I feel stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated or angry. This practice keeps me “in charge” of my thoughts, emotions and ability to “get things done”.   The best part: silence is free, requires no special equipment, and I can take it with me anywhere.  Powerful stuff.

With a relaxed mind, I can more effectively get things done. And that is feel-good living.

What about you?  Are there benefits you’ve experienced with a silent practice?  Have you read the benefits of the practice and you resist?

I’ve been car dancing for as long as I can remember.  It is a safe place for my inner rock star to emerge.  So when friends Katie West of the Levity Project and Lance Ekum of the Jungle of Life asked folks to participate in a car dancing micro-movement by sending in a short video clip of ourselves car dancing, I couldn’t refuse (I’m on around 3:16 in the video).  Katie is using the video as part of her mission to create social change through laughter, play and celebration.

That certainly is feel-good living.  Watch the video below or click here to view the video directly

Note: I wasn’t actually driving when I shot it – too dangerous when you’re alone in the car!  Enjoy and feel free to pass it along. Who couldn’t use a little more fun, lightness and car dancing in their life?

Are you caring for an Alzheimer’s patient who lives on the South Shore of Massachusetts?  If so, you might be eligible for a grant from the Alzheimer’s Partnership of the South Shore.

Taken from the grant application:

Purpose:  The Care Assistance Program (CAP) of the Alzheimer’s Partnership serving over 20 South Shore communities provides matching funds for short term respite care to benefit people with Alzheimer’s disease or related disorders and their family caregivers.  The program is intended to relieve the physical and emotional stress of the family caregiver, who must cope with around-the-clock care of a person with Alzheimer’s disease or a related disorder, and provide a person with Alzheimer’s or a related disorder with a health social intervention that will maximize their abilities.  CAP enables and encourages these caregivers to seek help and assistance to enable continuing to be an effective care partner. The program is intended to give care partners the much needed opportunity to replenish their energies through personal pursuits, health care, and family or social activities.

This is an amazing opportunity for caregivers and from what I’ve been told, one that not many know about.  Caregivers spend so much time caring for others, they don’t have time and often financial resources to take care of themselves.  This grant helps.  If you or someone you know is caring for an Alzheimer’s patient who lives on the South Shore of Massachusetts, please pass this information along.  Caregivers need care, too!

Click here to download Word version of the application and find out if you qualify.

For more information about the Alzheimer’s Partnership of the South Shore contact:

The Alzheimer’s Partnership South Shore
P.O Box  336, Pembroke, MA 02358

Or visit the Alzheimer’s Association website for a listing of local partnerships.

Today’s local feel good living highlight is with the Reverend Cathi Burke, co-owner of the Heart of Reiki/Heavenly Messenger Center in Hanover, MA.

I met Cathi through a networking referral and we instantly hit it off. I had the pleasure of interviewing her about one of her many skills , EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique.  EFT is a healing method that involves tapping various points on the body.  During our conversation Cathi teaches us (yes, there is practice involved!) tapping points to help manage fear, anxiety, stress, build confidence and even curb food cravings!  The interview runs about 20 minutes long, but in a lot of it you actually get to practice tapping.  If you’ve never heard of EFT or if you have and are curious, this segment may help answer some questions. I hope you check it out.

For more information about Cathi Burke:

Heart of Reiki Center
720 Washington St, Hanover MA
781-871-1740
email: angels8888 (at) comcast (dot) net

New! In support of my local community (Massachusetts), each week I will highlight news, resources and people to connect you to information you need to experience feel-good living.

Massage is indulgent to some, a therapeutic necessity to others. Massage is a great stress management tool, relaxation tool and a perfect healing therapy for athletes and those with a lot of muscle tension.   I use it therapeutically to relieve muscle tension that builds from things like exercise and sitting at a desk.

Which is why I’m so happy I met my new massage therapist Jaime Fencer.

Jaime is more than a massage therapist, she is a yoga instructor and certified Reiki Master.  She knows her stuff, physically and energetically.  There is no fluff involved with a massage from Jaime.  And that is “feel-good living”.

What I like Most About Jaime:

• She listens. Before she begins each session she asks you if there is anything in particular you want to work on.
• Her voice is soft and soothing. Just talking to her gets you in the mood to relax and unwind.
• She’s strong. Don’t let her size fool you, she has the ability to go deep into your muscle tissue and relieve the tension that has built from the week (or month, or however long it’s been since you’re last massage).
• She keeps quiet. I’ve had massage experiences where the therapist talks to me for the entire hour.  Not relaxing or therapeutic.  I prefer silence or soft music in the background, not conversation. I get that with Jaime.
• She makes house calls! Depending on a couple of factors like your location and a referral from me or someone she knows (to ensure that she is entering a safe home!) she makes house calls.

Room for Improvement
I believe that we all have room for improvement – there is always something more we can learn about our craft.  However, as I think about the things I would improve:

• Longer massage session
• More frequent massage session
• Wish she brought more of her energetic knowledge to the session

I realize these are all on me, not her.  I know that if I asked her for more energy work, I would get it. I haven’t asked.

Jaime practices massage in Boston, the South Shore and Cape Cod.  She teaches yoga in those same locations.  She’s passionate about her work, responds to appointment requests quickly, and has always followed up immediately with any referral I sent her way.

Feel Good Living Rating: 4.5 hearts.
(New! Rating system, 1 (not so feel good) to 5 (extremely feel good) “hearts”, logo coming soon).

How to Reach Her?
To schedule an appointment with Jaime contact her via phone or email (and tell her I sent you!)

Jaime Fencer
617 688 7714
fenna13 (at) aol (dot) com

Today is Go Red for Women/National Wear Red Day, part of the American Heart Association’s campaign to create awareness around and help prevent heart disease in women.

Did you know …

• Heart disease is the #1 killer of women, more than all forms of cancer?
• Heart disease kills approximately 450,000 women per year, which equates to about 1 per minute
• 90% of women have at least 1 risk factor for developing heart disease
• The cost is HIGH – $165.4 billion spent annually (cost is for men and women)
• Heart disease is largely preventable?

How to know if you’re at risk.
Risk factors that cannot be changed…

• Increasing age
• Sex – men are more likely than women to have a heart attack
• Heredity (including race)

Risk factors you can control…

• Smoking
• Inactivity
• High Blood pressure/cholesterol
• Overweight

In addition high levels of stress and consuming excessive alcoholic beverages also contribute to heart disease.  Click here for more information from the AHA about risk factors.

Not sure how to Go Red today?  Below are 7 ways to get you started.

Speak Up! A big part of the Go Red Campaign is speaking up. You must speak up about your health, you must take responsibility to make change.   Start by talking about it!  Find out your family history, talk to your doctor, and  find out how to take preventative measures.

Wear Red. Consider wearing red today – shoes, shirt, scarf, coat – will help show your support, though it may be silent, of Go Red for Women.

Take a walk.  Get some exercise – because by now I hope you know cardiovascular activity is great for your heart!

Eat for your heart. Your diet has a lot to do with heart health.  From the amount of fat to sodium levels in certain foods.  Beans, fruits and vegetables are great heart healthy foods.  How can you eat for your heart today?

Relax! Yes, even taking a break is good for the heart.  If stress is high your heart rate may elevate, your blood pressure may elevate.  Give yourself a break – breathe deeply, practice yoga, read a book – do something relaxing for  few minutes, and give your heart a break, too.

Hug someone you love. Nothing beats the human touch to relieve stress, feel connected (spiritual heart health at its finest!) and supported.  Go ahead, put down your computer/hand held device, and give someone you care about a hug.

Will you speak up and Go Red for Women?  Not only today, but all year long.

Today I’m wearing red and heading to the casting calls of my local AHA chapter to tryout for 2010 – 2011 group of spokeswomen. How will you go red today?

Other bloggers speaking up

Joanna at Fitness and Spice
Carla at MizFitOnline
Dinneen at EatWithoutGuilt

In cases you missed it,  see how I’m speaking up by clicking here to view the video PSA I filmed with the MA chapter of the American Heart Association.  Click here to see video.

Did you know cardiovascular disease kills over 432,000 women each year — about one every minute? (from GoRedForWomen.org)

Did you also know this #1 killer of women is largely preventable through a variety of healthy habits including regular exercise, healthy eating and even taking time to relax and unwind?

This past fall I worked with my local chapter of the American Heart Association to film a public service announcement (PSA) about women, heart disease and the AHA Go Red For Women campaign.  I’m so excited to share it with you!  Will you pause for 2 minutes to watch this extremely important message?

And now I’m asking for your help. Sharing this information of heart health is part of my mission and the foundation for “feel-good living”.  I believe everything starts with the heart and flows out.  But I am just one person!  Will you help spread this important message by forwarding the video to friends, family and colleagues? Living healthy is a right we all have.  Together we can support one another to live healthy, satisfied, “feel-good” lives.   Will you start by speaking up?

In honor of American Heart Month (February) I’ll dedicate more time this month to promoting heart health focusing on time and cost effective ways to bring healthy living into your daily routine.

Learn more about AHA  and Go Red For Women (both sites contain FREE programs, services, events):

This Friday, February 5 is “National Wear Red for Women” day. I’ll be wearing red, will you?

American Heart Association

Go Red For Women

How are you keeping your heart healthy?