Karl at Work Happy Now declared October 5 Happy at Work Action Day. In honor of that I spent some time thinking about my own work happiness and how I got here.
Because I haven’t always been happy at work.
WORK UNHAPPINESS…THE SHORT VERSION
For most of the 10 years I worked as a market research professional, I experienced work unhappiness. Work is boring; the pay isn’t enough: complain, complain, complain. In my last job fear and anger took over as I “protected” myself from the environment. I yelled, screamed and even cursed at colleagues. Several years have passed since those days and still I blush with embarrassment at my behavior. I became so angry during the day I couldn’t take it anymore and with very little preparation, I made the emotional decision to quit the corporate world and start my own business.
Self-employment was the key to my work happiness, right?
Then why, several months later was I still miserable and still complaining?
I began to think something was wrong with me.
That’s when I began to dig deep – to figure out why work made me so unhappy.
VALUES, STRENGTHS AND LIKES
I discovered many reasons for my unhappiness. I also discovered that if I wanted to make a shift I needed to:
- Identifying what I enjoy
- Identifying my strengths (Taking into account feedback from others)
- Identifying my core values
4 values emerged: Experience, Guide, Fun, Feel Good
Before I identified my values I often used those words/phrases intuitively – referring to myself as a guide and always providing experiences during my talks and of course yoga classes. And if fun isn’t involved, why bother? It’s in those moments when I embody all 4 values that I’m at my best.
The funny thing is, these values have always been there. They were hidden under the guise of what I SHOULD do and the belief that in order to make money, work wouldn’t be fun.
I used to day dream about my perfect work environment: A place where people could talk freely and work = laughing a lot and having fun! In many of my work scenarios today I have that.
For me work happiness wasn’t as simple as choosing happiness. Identifying my likes, strengths and values has made all the difference in how I approach my work. I needed to go through my own process, heal some old wounds and identify what is important to me. For a long time I didn’t think I’d ever be happy at work. With time, patience and a willingness to be open, it became a little easier.
These days when I’m feeling stuck or lacking inspiration I check in with my core values and often find that I’m “out of alignment”. When I get nervous about presenting in front of a new group I remind myself – guide them through an experience that is fun and feels good! When I do, my audience has fun and feels good. And I do, too.
What about you? How do you find work happiness? Do you struggle?
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post! I find work happiness but trying to learn as much as I can at work about what I’m doing. I also try to find time to do what I love to do while at work!
Hey Stacey,
Okay…I’m just not seeing it – you yelling and cursing at colleagues! I don’t think we’re talking about the same Stacey! And I guess that’s why “digging deep” can be so good…
How do I find work happiness? I think there’s a mix of doing something that matters, along with doing what connects with who we are, and in an environment that is conducive to our being (I think that answer seems pretty antiseptic…). So then, I guess I really find work happiness when it feels like I’m “firing on all cylinders”, and having fun doing that. Fun is a keyword, I think! And fun can encompass many things for everyone. Some days, sure, that’s a struggle. And I may question if I’m going down the right path. I suppose maybe there’s always some questioning, and that’s good when there is – when we’re thinking deeply about matters….
Great thoughts, Stacey! And so good to see you at this spot you’re at in your journey…
Hi Stacey,
I think your key was in the core values. Maybe some can’t leave their place of work and be their own boss yet I believe they can incorporate their values where ever they are until they can make a change.
When I think of people who survived the holocaust it was all in how they responded to what was going on around them.
I found a story years ago about a young woman in a concentration camp that found one raspberry on a bush. She picked it wrapped it in a large leaf and presented it to her friend later. Imagine spreading that kind of joy in a place like that?
I think another part is to dig deep, find core values, take responsibility and make your life work while looking for your ideal or something better.
I also think like Lance there will always be some questioning no matter where we are.
I struggled with work happiness for many years. I tried the corporate world, teaching, Yoga, handyman, mushroom monger, and many other jobs. I still wasn’t happy. It wasn’t until I worked on my own issues, just like you, that my happiness within my work came alive.
I’m still not perfect. I laugh when I get frustrated with my computer or growl because I can’t get sentence just right.
I’ve realized that I needed to work on the core me. When I became happy with who I was it was so much easier to enjoy my work. The key was being able to align my needs with my work. When they were out of alignment I made the right mental adjustment to help get me through some tough times.
Thanks for the link love.
Hi Stacey — what you said about what makes a great work situation really resonated with me. Being able to talk freely, like you said, and not having to put on a “work persona,” I think, is so important to being able to enjoy our work and so missing from corporate environments these days. And then, like I think you’re saying too, a lot of our happiness at work has to do with our overall view of the world — whether we see it as a basically safe or dangerous place — so when we aren’t so focused on defending ourselves we can actually start having fun.
Stacey,
The core values idea is so key. That has been helpful in my switch from a profession that drained me (education/teaching) to one of fulfillment and play. And like you I realized FUN was a core value. Now it is the point of everything I do. Sure there are un-fun days….but knowing that is my core value helps right the ship much more easily. Great post. I like getting to know you!
Katie
This is a very valuable post Stacey as I can see many people thinking and doing the exact same thing – going self-employed that is and thinking that all of a sudden everything will be perfect.
Well, not quite!
We may leave our “jobs” behind, but we take ourselves with us wherever we go. So unless we figure out what the “self” really wants and needs – we will carry with us that unsatisfied, unfulfilled state everywhere.
You had a great revelation – thanks for sharing!
Hi Dani – absolutely – finding time to do what you love is key (I’ve found!)
Lance – There is a side of me many people don’t know, on purpose, because I never shared. I realize though, it’s important for people to know “I wasn’t born this way” so to speak. This shift has become the basis of my work and my writing. And to your point…I am “different” – a whole new Stacey.
Tess – the core values was a huge eye opener for me, you’re right. And you touch on something else I believe firmly – it is all in how we respond that makes a difference!
Karl – mushroom monger? tell me more! Yes, it’s at the core that we find what we need to get into “alignment”…I totally agree!
Chris – Well, when I wrote the post I wasn’t thinking directly about my view of the world, but you saw something anyway…during that time my view was one of distrust for sure…I realize that is no longer the case.
Katie – Welcome! Sometimes when I sit to write I get stuck. Suddenly I realize “this isn’t fun” whether it’s the topic or style. I have to rethink and rewrite!
Evita – Absolutely. When I present I often talk about the common denominator between personal and professional lives: US as individuals. It’s too hard to separate…you have to be happy with yourself to bring the best of you into both worlds.
Oh my gosh, I’m with you in that the corporate world held very little appeal for me in terms of work happiness. Many days I enjoyed myself, but it wasn’t for the work I did as much as the colleagues I had, the flexibility I enjoyed, and the pay.
I quit in January and have been on an incredible sabbatical (totally manifested it, by the way — wow!), but now am torn between the “shoulds” (I “should” get a job) and my wish list (earning money in a new, fun, totally ME way). Not sure how it will straighten itself out, but I’m optimistic.
I do know from enjoying life these past ten months that no amount of money can buy contentment. That comes from deep within. When my needs are met, I don’t need to be earning money to be happy. Quite the opposite. Just have to figure out how to meet those needs again!
GREAT post, and one that has me thinking about the future…
Stacey, you are gradually filling in all the right livelihood components and that is what will sustain your happiness. It’s a combination of bringing who you are into the world in full rip roaring expression. Congratulations!
For years I was abut 75% happy. Interestingly it also was a closer examination of values and honoring those values that got me to feel pumped all the time. Identifying a specific true calling also was the final piece of bliss.
Hi Stephanie,
I have been at odds with my work life for awhile. I am working towards changing that. The values that I hold dear, Integrity, Commitment to Excellence and being stubbornly Optimistic is more in tune and aligned with writing and teaching yoga. In early 2009, I received my 200 hour level yoga certification and I dived head first into my 500 hour level training. I’m half way through
And I’ve been fine tuning my writing. I’m working on two books, writing two blogs, and I’m a contributing writer to the only online magazine for StepMoms. My fingers are happiest when their stroking the keys on my keyboard.
But the day job? Until I can earn half of what I earn now through writing and teaching yoga, the day job stays. I’m the primary income earner because somewhere in my life I went to school and got a masters degree in a soul-less, heart-less field that simply pays well.
(And there are way too many typos in my comment. It’s been a long day)
Megan – we should talk more – I’m with you on those “shoulds”! They can wreak havoc! The truth is, I wouldn’t want it any other way…
Tom – Absolutely – the true calling, so hard to find…but once you do watch out!
Hi Peggy – no worries on the typos…I didn’t notice! A fellow yogi – I have yet to dive into the 500 hour program, stopped at 200…so far so good! I’ve been in that pays well position…and I also know that my background education does come in handy…I think it’s all for a purpose! Good luck with your transition and thanks for leaving a comment.
Stacey, just popped over from Megan’s. What an inspiring blog you have here. I am just so blessed because I adore my work. I have been self-employed for many years now and always focused on doing what I love, no matter what. Rarely, have I done the opposite. I think this comes from (early on) listening to your heart and following it. Sure, sometimes the money has been meager, but the spirit soars. And that is how I have chosen to live my life. Amen. I do wish everyone could listen to and follow their heart AND the money would follow, don’t you?
Hi Jan, Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. Now that I’ve learned to listen to my heart, yes, I wish others could too! It’s hard to get rid of the “shoulds” and follow your own wants/needs/desires. But when you do, yes, the spirit soars!
I am still searching…the glass is always half full. Hope all is well!
Mark – great to hear from you! Hope you are doing well. Stacey
Hi Stacey,
Loved your post as I am doing exactly what you talked about…transitioning from my Corporate job to online business. Anyone who said it was going to be easy… isn’t telling the whole truth.
But, being in business for myself…especially on the Internet will someday bring me the freedom I so dearly seek. My job is to stick with it…tenaciously until it happens!
Thanks for an inspiring morning read!
Kathy
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