Let it Flow

Communication, when not clear can hurt us. We’re not heard and we become frustrated. Whether you’re talking to your partner, spouse, kids, boss or fellow co-workers communication or lack thereof is one of the most popular stressors these days. When communication is effective and positive it can be one of the best stress relievers I know. Effectively communicating can help:

• Lower stress
• Free up time
• Release us of our own negative self-talk
• Improve confidence
• Ensure we are heard (though not necessarily agreed with)

So why is it so hard? Typical responses I’ve heard and experienced include:

• Fear of losing people, places, things
• Fear of hurting someone’s feelings (I am very familiar with this one)
• Guilt for having different beliefs than our friends, family or co-workers
• Fear of appearing weak or unable to “handle everything”

The words we use when communicating,  to a large audience or in a one-on-one conversation,  have a huge impact on whether or not we’re heard and can achieve desired results. Our word choice may vary depending on our audience.  Regardless, here are 5 of the most powerful and influential in the English language:

• Please
• Thank you
• Consider
• Help

Surprised at how simple these are? I was too when I first learned.

For example, maybe you live with someone who leaves dishes in the sink instead of washing them or putting them in the dishwasher. Maybe your typical response to the sight of dishes in the sink is “Why can’t you put your dishes in the dishwasher? How hard is that!” How is that working for you? Is it effective? What if you tried the following:

“Would you consider putting your dishes in the dishwasher rather than leaving them in the sink? It would be a big help to me.”

I’ve tried it, and wouldn’t you know it worked.

Tags: Communication, Stress //