Let it Flow

Do you ever find yourself dreaming or wishing for a new job or big promotion, a new home or a dream vacation? Dreams so vivid you can feel them, taste them and smell them? Yet when you’re done dreaming, do you begin to convince yourself that these dreams will never come true? Do you ever say to yourself, “I CAN’T”?

I CAN vs. I CAN’T
Grammatically, changing my language from “I can’t” to “I can” was simple. All it took was removing the apostrophe and the letter T. The emotional effects that small grammatical change had, on me and my life, was so much bigger than I ever imagined.

Growing up I never really believed in myself or my abilities. I used to be on the receiving end of doubt provoking questions such as “What are you doing that for?” and “How do you think you’ll do that?”. After years of hearing this line of questioning, I began to believe I couldn’t succeed. I began to tell myself, “I can’t”.

That all changed during the summer of 2005 when I participated in a firewalk. A firewalk is an event that may include meditation, chanting, visualizations and ends with a walk across coals (length of walk varies, mine was 10 feet) that reach 1200 to 1500 degrees. .

WHICH VOICE TO LISTEN TO?
The opportunity to participate in such an event came at a time in my life when I struggled with feeling stuck in my career. I was making a great salary at my corporate desk job but it made me miserable. I really wanted to follow my dreams and start my own business. I kept telling myself, “I can’t do that”. When I decided to participate in the firewalk I didn’t realize the effect it would have on me. I simply considered it another one of my many life adventures.

Once I decided to participate, I told everyone I knew. Even as an adult the same questions were hurdled at me “What are you doing that for?” and “What are you crazy? You’ll get 3rd degree burns!” The questions hit me so hard, for a day or two I actually considered not participating. Thankfully I didn’t listen to the other voices, I listened to my own. After a lot of consideration I decided that I was going to be there no matter what.

PREPARATION
When my husband and I arrived at the firewalk location, the instructors were lighting the wood on fire. If I hadn’t seen the wood burn with my own eyes, I may not have believed that I was about to walk on hot coals. As I watched the logs burn into coals, we were given an overview of the evening. Then we were led through a visualization exercise. This exercise helped me to imagine the outcome of the event. I was told to close my eyes and picture the following: what I was wearing, how I felt emotionally, and what my experience was going to be as I walked across the coals. In my visualization I was very peaceful. I was wearing exactly what I was wearing that night, and as I visualized my walk, I was floating weightlessly across the ten foot carpet of coal. I imagined that I didn’t feel a thing. In my mind I completed the walk unharmed. At that moment I was brought back to reality.

THE FIRE HEATS UP
Our firewalk started with a chant and as a group we chose a simple one –repeat the word “YES”. I personally started with a quiet whisper, not quite sure of myself. As I repeated the word “yes” over and over again, I began to notice how warm the heat from the flames felt on my face. Even on this hot, mid-July evening, the heat from the fire felt so good. I realized I needed to be closer to the flames. I needed to feel more heat. I stepped closer, and as I stepped closer I noticed my “Yes” became louder. I closed my eyes and continued to enjoy the heat on my face. Still I needed to be closer to the flames.

During the overview the instructors told us our bodies would tell us when it was time to walk. I wondered “Is my body telling me I’m ready by needing to be closer to the heat?” Each time I stepped closer, my “Yes” chant became louder. People around me started to make their way across the coals. I didn’t let that phase me. I kept asking “Am I ready?” Before I knew it, I had chanted my way to the start of the walk. I was ready. Louder was my “YES, YES, YES”. I stepped with my right foot, then my left foot. I kept walking, almost as if I was floating, just like my visualization. When I finished I stopped in my tracks (off the coals!). I couldn’t believe it. No burns on my feet, and I felt no heat as I walked. My mouth dropped open and my hands instantly covered my wide open mouth making the universal sign of shock and surprise. Then instantly tears flooded my face. I was sobbing. I DID IT! I DID IT!

I CAN DO ANYTHING!
For the next 24 hours all I could say was “I CAN DO ANYTHING”. I told all the people who thought I was crazy “I CAN DO ANYTHING”. Nothing seemed impossible. I had an energy and outlook on life that I had never experienced. All because I said, “I can”. The answers to the career questions I struggled with were finally clear.

It was then that I made the decision to pursue my dream to start my own business. Within the week I had registered for a variety of certifications I needed to move forward. I began brainstorming a company name and hired a designer to create a logo. Within three months, my company, Let it Flow was created. I had decided that I would leave my corporate job within 9 months. Things were going so well, however, I was able to leave my job 3 months earlier than planned.

THE LESSON
The firewalk was 2 1/2 year ago, and I continue to grow personally and professionally. Why? Because in July 2005 I learned to:

• Change my language, change the outcome. A simple change in grammar turned “I can’t” into “I can”.
• Manage the voices. I learned that the voices are usually made up stories based on fears. Many of the stories in my head, therefore, are not true. Now I’m able to step back and say “There you go again, Stacey”.
• See the outcome. When I embark on something “big” be it personally or professionally I find visualizing the journey and the outcome (as favorable) a powerful tool to use. And in most situations, it really does work. Visualization is part of my preparation stage.
• Know when I’m ready. The firewalk taught me to notice signs of readiness and honor when it’s time to act vs when more time is needed to prepare.
• Believe in myself. Believing in myself is the most important piece. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Believing in myself is what helps put my dreams in motion, it’s what gives me the confidence to move forward. Without it, I’d be stuck behind a desk, cranky, and “working for the man” for the rest of my life.

Today, whenever the thought “I can’t enters my mind, I think back to the firewalk. To that moment in time when I realized “I can do anything” and then I’m able to continue moving forward toward success and toward my drea
ms.

I had been dreaming of starting my own business for more than 10 years. And while I may not know what the future holds, I do know that I have the power to create what I want that future to be. All because I chose to let go of, “I can’t”, in order to believe that “I can”.

Tags: Food for thought, Inspiration and Motivation //