Let it Flow

We communicate every day and there is no way to escape it. At what point in our lives did it become so difficult? I certainly don’t have the answer to that and for me I know it goes back to developmental years and the way I was communicated to by parents, teachers, family members and peers.

I recently posted about my niece choosing to eat her sandwich rather than tell me about her first day of preschool. She was pure in her answer and was looking out for her own needs. It was a brilliant lesson for me in many ways. I wasn’t hurt by her words because she didn’t intend to hurt me. Yet, so often as adults we are afraid to express ourselves for fear of hurting other people. Instead, we keep those words hidden and hurt ourselves.

Just yesterday I had to have what I consider a difficult conversation. It was difficult because my opinions were going “against the grain”. I needed to express my concerns, regardless of the outcome. The good news is my voice was heard, my opinion respected even though the decision didn’t change.

That isn’t always the case. So what do we do about it? We’ve got to start putting ourselves first. Know it’s ok to have a different opinion and give yourself the space and permission you need to express that. Have trust in the people around you that they will respect you for your knowledge and opinion even if it differs from everyone else. If they don’t - find a new group of individuals to associate with.

We are afraid to express ourselves for fearing of hurting our spouse/partner, upsetting our boss or colleagues, hurting a friend’s feelings. What about your feelings? Who is looking out for you?

Communicating with ease and confidence is easier said than done. Being able to communicate effectively requires practice and patience. It’s like training a muscle that hasn’t been used in a while. There is good news! There are a variety of resources available to help you improve your communication skills. Below I’ve provided a few resources for further learning.

Join a club – An organization like Toastmasters International will help build your communication and leadership skills. There are clubs worldwide and new members are always welcome. If you can’t find one near you - start your own! Click here for information on the new club I’m starting in Hanover, Massachusetts.

Take a class – With adult education classes in nearly every town, look for what’s available for writing, speaking or even comedy classes.

Alternative Healing – Believe it or not practices lie Acupuncture, Reiki and even Yoga may help to move energy that may be blocking your voice and your power to communicate effectively. Meditation and visualization is useful to help see yourself as the “Great Communicator” you strive to be!

Get Writing – If you’re not ready to speak your words, writing them can help you develop and deliver clear and concise statements so your message is understood. Remember, no one but you has to see the words you put on paper. I used this tip before my difficult conversation yesterday and it was very helpful.

Practice – Rather than running from opportunities, run toward them. The only way to improve communication is to practice. Avoid judging yourself and have an open mind. It’s with practice that we can learn and grow.

Do you find yourself struggling to get your point across? How do you overcome that?